


The Drawing

by orangetree



Category: South Park
Genre: Bottom Craig Tucker, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Top Tweek Tweak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-24 00:26:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18159023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangetree/pseuds/orangetree
Summary: A look at Tweek Tweak's and Craig Tucker's relationship from the fourth grade to the summer before college.





	The Drawing

It was an unconventional start, but it was a start. Never let that go unsaid, they were grateful for the beginning of this. Tweek Tweak had always known he wasn’t really interested in girls, but how do you vocalise this at nine years old? That when he looked into the big brown doe eyes of Craig Tucker in Mr. Garrison’s fourth grade class and asked if he could share his markers it would lead him to this. That those stupid drawings would lead him to holding Craig’s soft tan hand and maybe they found something they were lacking in each other. That Craig made him just a little more confident, a little better at telling people what he wanted. That he made Craig take a look at the world beyond concrete facts. That it was ok to let someone in and he wasn’t alone. They were nine years old and they were discovering that sometimes you just need to open your worldview up. 

In the fifth grade, Tweek looked over at Craig Tucker, who was concentrating so hard on his European map, that he was colouring it so carefully. He hated getting coloured pencil outside the lines. That when he concentrated too hard, his tongue poked out the side of his mouth. When he saw Tweek looking at him, his cheeks went red for a moment and he looked back at his map. That this was all a set up right? That they were trying to make the town happy and then they just weren’t. That he liked holding Craig’s hand and pushing him on the merry go round. That he likes giving Craig raggedy bouquets of his mom’s flowers right out of her garden. That Laura Tucker pretended she didn’t see that her roses and violets now had holes in them and sometimes she gave him a wink and he felt like that’s what a mom should do. That Craig pretended he didn’t like the flowers, because gross, but he did. He liked someone taking care of him for once. Sometimes they would just lay on Craig’s floor and look up at his glow in the dark stars on his ceiling and pretend they were exploring the great beyond in space. That Craig made him believe they could explore the great beyond in space and he wouldn’t feel so alone either.

Tweek Tweak was weird. Kids didn’t really like him and they didn’t want to be around him. He was too loud and too anxious and the world was too big. Craig was quiet and he didn’t say much, he spoke when he had something to say, otherwise, he wanted to be left alone. He felt alone too. It was easy to blend in the background and go along with whatever weird shit was happening in South Park. But he hated it. He hated change and he hated being out of his environment. Tweek liked to play quiet, imagination games or video games that required very little thought. He always let him be Pikachu when they played smash bros and never smashed up his pokemon toys. He liked to colour and play with legos and that was great. He was the ideal partner, Craig had done the data, he had ran the numbers. 

“What do you want to do today?” He asked Tweek quietly. They were bored with legos, they had already built the Hogwarts castle that Craig got for his last birthday. Stripe wanted to nap and wasn’t up for playing and Craig was tired of colouring. They were laying on the floor in Craig’s room, Tweek kept making Craig’s stuffed guinea pig he had gotten him for valentine’s day sneak up behind him and jump on his hat. Craig laughed softly and swatted him away. 

“I have an idea, but it's kinda stupid.” Tweek looked over at him. Craig looked over at him and saw Tweek’s face was turning red. “You want to play wedding?” He asked him in one breath and looked away. Craig smiled to himself, it was funny how red Tweek’s cheeks got and how he could tell he really wanted to play that. That maybe it was more than a pretend game, it was this thing that would cement this thing and they wouldn’t end up drifting apart and playing with anyone else.

“Fine, but you have to ask me you know? Like they way they do in the movies.” He sat up and motioned to the ground. “With a ring too.” He was worth it, he wanted a ring, a nice one. He was all or nothing. A jacket with an S taped to it or a very detailed thief costume and completely staying in character. 

“Hnng, alright. Let me find a ring.” Tweek knew he could probably get one from Ruby, she probably had cheap play jewelry. Most girls that age did. She narrowed her eyes as she peeked out at him from behind the crack in her door.

“What do you want?” He looked beyond her and saw a very intricate tea set up on a little round table, she was playing tea party with her dolls and her cat. “Come on, Im entertaining here.” She huffed. His eyes drifted to her board game shelf, all organized, all the pieces in tact. The Tuckers were organized and neat and don’t touch their stuff unless you ask.

“Can I borrow a ring? I need to ask your brother to marry me with a ring or he won’t play wedding.” He didn’t mean to shriek it at her, but he was nervous. This felt like getting a loan or a report in front of the class. She rolled her eyes, but let him in.

“You could better.” She told him as she took Pretty Pretty Princess off the shelf. There were clear colour lucite jewelry inside. She gave him a choice between blue or purple, knowing Craig would shun pink and the bright piss yellow they came in. “Bring that back when you’re done, I hate an incomplete set.” She told him as she put the game back. “You’ll need some things from the dress up box too.” She pointed out. She motioned towards a big blue plastic toy chest filled with mismatched clothing.

She helped him pick out a black top hat with a white silk ribbon around the brim. She also gave him a flower crown of blue and white flowers to give Craig. There was no way in hell he would wear a veil, but he had wore the crown for her before playing some made up game. They lived in a forest, she couldn’t remember the exact details. “I want to be the minister and marry you two fuck boys.” She told him solemnly. “This is a very important day after all.” It wasn’t everyday someone actually wanted to spend time with her gross booger eating brother. He was such a dork, she didn’t understand this at all.

“Fine.” He brought back the ring and the crown to Craig who was laying on back with his stuffed guinea pig on his stomach. His eyes were closed and he looked sleepy. Craig was the only person he knew that still took an afternoon nap and he begged Tweek never tell anyone at school about this because naps were for babies. In years time, they would find naps were delicious stolen moments, but at ten, they were for babies. 

“Ahem.” Tweek cleared his throat and Craig opened his sleepy brown eyes at him. “Craig, I have a very important question for you.” He got on one knee like he saw on tv. “Will you marry me?” He gave him his blue ring and Craig put it on his middle finger because this jewelry was huge and Ruby must worn it as a bracelet. Craig had long slim fingers and long awkward limbs. He teasingly admired how it looked on him and gave Tweek a real crooked smile. He had an overbite and pointy canine teeth. They were slightly crooked and Tweek thought he liked them. He liked Craig’s smile and he liked how it felt it was only directed towards him. 

“I will marry you Tweek.” He put the top hat on Tweek and the flower crown on himself and they set up the back yard for a wedding. Craig’s side was his stuffed guinea pig, his stuffed pikachu and Stripe. Tweek’s side was Ruby’s stuffed lamb with the bow on its head, Ruby’s cat Mew and Karen McCormick, who just happened to come over at the right moment. Her brother dropping her off and hoping maybe Craig would offer to let him stay or at least give him a snack.

“Kenny, are you staying for this wedding or what?” Craig asked him. Kenny shrugged and sat on Craig’s side. Kenny was pretty much up for most things and weddings usually had cake. Tweek made the cupcakes and though they were from a box mix, they were good, he arranged them nicely on a plate. He wanted it to look fancy, like on cake wars or one of those shows. 

“Tweek, do you take this goblin to be your husband? Do you promise to let him pick the Saturday morning cartoons and the cereal?” Truly important vows from Ruby Tucker.

“I do.” He looked over at Craig and he could see he was trying not to laugh. These were important things to children. Choosing the cartoons and the cereal, things Ruby and him still fought over now. 

“Craig, do you take this normal person to be your husband? Do you promise to try all Tweek’s recipes and even if they suck, you’ll tell him they’re good?” She looked over at her brother in his flower crown and dirty blue jacket. When was the last time he washed that?

“I do.” He reached over and put his hand in Tweek’s. It was kinda fun and they did get to eat cupcakes afterwards. He usually thought games like this were for girls, but there was something weird comforting about someone even wanting to pretend to want to spend this much time with you. 

“In the power I have as a minister and the state of Colorado, you two are married now. Don’t kiss and make us all want to puke.” She warned them. They just hugged and turned to face their guests. Kenny was holding Stripe and Karen was petting mew. The stuffed guests were quiet, there were always those sorts at weddings. Real party pooper sorts that didn’t want to let loose.

“Lets eat cupcakes now.” Ruby announced. They were good, chocolate with white icing. Tweek even put rainbow sprinkles on them. Very fancy. He was pretty proud of them.

Their first real boy girl party was Annie Knitt’s twelfth birthday party. They all hung out in her basement and ate pizza and drank soda from cans. They were still holding hands, both too afraid to take the next step. Kissing was a thing kids did, Wendy and Stan had finally kissed. Heidi would kiss Cartman on the cheek sometimes. Butters ran that kissing business two years ago. It should have been no big deal, but for some reason, they weren’t ready to cross that line yet. Maybe they were putting too much stock into it, maybe there was part of them that admitted this had become so real in the two years they had been “dating” that they knew once they crossed that line, there was no coming back. That Tweek had started to have a real crush on Craig two weeks into “dating.” He liked how his hair smelled like watermelon L’Oreal kids shampoo. That he always shared his cookies at lunch and would colour pictures for him. He would hang them in his locker and look at them between classes. He would play the piano for Craig and he would play along on his viola. He would carry Craig’s books and viola case for him after school, it made him feel stronger and taller and even though Craig was still just a little taller than him, he felt so cool. Craig made him feel cool when he was clearly wasn’t. 

“Are you having fun honey?” Craig asked him as he took a sip from his can of cherry soda. He was wearing a new blue sweater and he pinned the little enamel sailor moon pin Tweek had gotten him on it. He had a matching one on his green button up shirt and they were honestly, anything but cool.

“Yes baby.” His hands shook as he put his can of redbull down and he really needed to lay off the caffeine. He put an arm around Craig’s bony shoulder and Craig laid his head against his as they watched Annie open her gifts. Boring girlish things, makeup sets, hair accessories. Craig got her an amazon gift card, he whispered in Tweek’s ear that he hoped she used it to buy a book or two. Annie wasn’t exactly the smartest in their class, Craig had always been a bit of a bratty snob. Tweek elbowed him in the rib cage for that, even if it was true. 

“Now that my parents are upstairs, let's play spin the bottle.” Annie held up an empty wine bottle of her mom’s. Tweek held Craig’s hand as they sat next to each other and nudged him with his shoulder. It would be ok, even if one of them had to kiss someone else. Even if his first kiss wasn’t Craig or Craig’s wasn’t him. Annie spun first and everyone laughed when she got Jimmy. Her ears turned a little red and everyone knew she liked him. He had grown taller and cuter, his braces were off. She ducked her pink face down as she pressed her lips to his quickly. Jimmy got Lola, who spun and got Kenny. Kenny kissed Red who spun and it landed on Tweek. 

“Its ok.” Craig whispered and he wondered if it was ok. That his first kiss would be with his boyfriend’s cousin. Her lips were soft and they tasted like coconut lip gloss. This wasn’t anything like he pictured his first kiss to be. He spun and prayed it would land on Craig. Maybe if he willed it enough, it would happen. When it landed on Craig, just barely landed on him, he wondered what else he could will into existence. That could be a dangerous power to have. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Craig’s soft ones. It was quick, just a swipe of the lips. He looked into Craig’s eyes for a moment and he didn’t look as happy as Tweek felt. He didn’t want to say anything in front of the group and just looked down at his hands when it was Craig’s turn to spin. It landed on Stan and everyone laughed.

“You can spin again Craig.” Lola Parker was trying to be polite, she didn’t want to embarrass him. Lola was second chair to Craig’s first, they played the viola together, they did duets together sometimes too. She was someone he actually considered a friend, he was comfortable with her.

“No dude, you don’t have to.” Stan Marsh was woke or at least he pretended to be. He thought it was without all the PC bullshit his dad did. He had questions about the world around him and why things were they way they were. But Craig didn’t like girls. He had made that very clear since the fourth grade. He was also much more socially awkward than Stan was. He was trying to be kind as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Craig’s. Craig kept his eyes open and they didn’t look happy. None of this was making him happy.

Something inside of Tweek twinged. He couldn’t explain it. If he had kissed Jenny or Wendy or Bebe, he wouldn’t have cared. Craig didn’t like girls, he was never interested in them and was very clear he was never going to be. He liked boys, he had a boyfriend and even if the start wasn’t exactly romantic, they cared about each other. The girls were never a threat, but Stan Marsh was. He wasn’t trying to be jealous, he wasn’t trying to make Craig even more uncomfortable than he already was. He reached over and touched Craig’s shoulder softly when he just gently shook him off and went upstairs without saying anything.

“Tweek? What the fuck is Craig’s problem?” Eric Cartman had about as much tact as a bull in a china shop. “Can you please tell him to stop being a little crybaby bitch and come back down so we can have cake?” Cartman was a simple creature who held a complex need for revenge or making those around him miserable. He liked food, he liked toys and having whatever the cool thing at the moment was first. Kenny was poor, Kahl was a jew, Craig was a fag and Bebe was a bitch. That’s how saw the world. From the brief time Tweek had hung out with them in the fourth grade, he knew Cartman saw him as a spaz or a weirdo or someone he didn’t like. 

“Dude stop it, that’s not nice.” Kyle had his hand on the bottle to spin it and Tweek got up before he could see who it landed. He felt Clyde at his heels and it felt like an intrusion. He liked Clyde too, he was a good dude. He was a good friend to Craig and they shared something he didn’t. He couldn’t help but want this to be their moment too. 

“Craig? Are you ok?” He saw him sitting on Annie’s screened in porch with her cat laying next to him. He didn’t say anything at first and Tweek sat on his other side while Clyde sat on the floor in front of him.

“Im, I, I don’t know.” He stopped and started. “I'm not trying to be a baby about this.” He looked down at his hands. Craig had long fingers and slim palms and freckles on the top of his hands. He tugged at the strings of his chullo hat and Tweek noticed he did that when he was uncomfortable, just as he tugged at his hair. Craig was trying to get him to stop doing that so he didn’t hurt himself. It was a work in progress.

“You’re not a baby dude.” Clyde spoke up. “Why would you think you’re being a baby?” Clyde was a baby sometimes. He cried easily and he liked to get his own way. He was a good lackey, he tended to follow bigger personalities. Tweek had no idea how he ended up following Craig. He wasn’t a big personality and he didn’t say much. He said what he thought, but it was never enough because you rarely knew what he was thinking. His eyes were expressive, but he kept his face incredibly neutral. Clyde was expressive and had lots of feelings and liked to tell you what those feelings were. They were an odd match.

“I don't like playing those sorts of games. I don't want to kiss someone in front of everyone. I don't know, I just, it makes me uncomfortable.” He pulled his knobby knees up to his chest and rested his cheek on them. 

“That's ok, we don’t have to play.” Tweek reached over tentatively and put his hand on his back. He had touched Craig before. They had hugged and held hands. He would put his arm around him and Craig would rest his head on his shoulder. But something felt different and even as an twelve year old, Tweek knew that things had changed somehow. They weren’t playing imagination games on the playground anymore. This was a new uncharted territory of becoming a teenager. Their bodies were changing and he was starting to think of Craig as a different sort of romantic partner. One he wanted to kiss and touch his hair and there were hormones and jealousy. Next year they would be at Park County middle school and they may not be in the same courses. Craig had chosen the accelerated path with Kyle, Wendy and Heidi. He was on the normal path, he didn’t really care about school one way or another. Things would change and they may become different people. 

“I do want to kiss you.” Craig wouldn’t make eye contact with him as he said this. His eyes were still fixed on his hands. “Just maybe not in front of all the kids in our grade.” He finally peeked over at him. Tweek got it, it was supposed to be their moment. Something that they would just share and would become some fond memory they would tell people about someday. But now it was a game. Just another blur in the social hierarchy of middle school and Tweek felt badly about that.

“I'm going to go back downstairs. Let you guys be alone.” Clyde looked over at Tweek and gave him a crooked sort of knowing smile. Just a little moment between two people sorta forced together as friends. He wasn’t always great at reading the room, but Tweek couldn’t have been more grateful for him in the moment.

“I want to kiss you too. It doesn’t have to be tonight or tomorrow or in a month. Lets just take our time.” He took Craig’s hand in his and they looked at the night sky through the screen in porch. It was just starting to thaw out, sweater weather but no heavy coats. The twinkling of the stars and the smell of the grass starting to come back. It was romantic, at least what Tweek thought romance was like when he was a kid. He wondered if it was right even after his big speech. Well, a little speech, a statement rather. 

“It's really nice out tonight though.” Craig’s big brown eyes were on the stars and he saw the tiniest quirk of his lips turn upwards. Tweek’s green eyes were on his face and he noticed things about Craig he had never paid attention to before. He had freckles on the bridge of his nose and his cheeks, which were round. He had long eyelashes and his nose was a little bigger than some of the kids in their class, but he liked it. He was pretty in a way that no girl would ever be able to match and he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to make this one special because they were twelve and he felt the first stirrings of hormonal attraction and he finally understood what this all meant. The world seemed so large in that moment, the darkness of the sky and its twinkling lights and the dim low light of Annie’s backyard and the smell of the grass. How he couldn’t really see beyond the screened in porch and Craig’s hair still smelled like L’Oreal kids watermelon shampoo and he hoped it would always smell like that. He reached out for a moment and brushed the hair off his forehead and it was soft. Softer than the fur on Annie’s cat and he felt like such a dork for comparing it to that in his mind, but it's not like Craig could read his mind. But if he could, he hoped he read only the good parts and not this part.

“It is really nice out.” He put his arm around Craig’s bony shoulder and Craig laid his head on his shoulder. They sat like that until they heard the porch day open again and Clyde brought them cake with a scoop of cherry vanilla ice cream on the side. 

“I know this is your favourite ice cream, I got you a little extra.” He told Craig as he handed his plate to him. Clyde was a good friend and he sat back down on front of them, facing them on the floor. They snapped out of that hazy, almost moment to laugh at Clyde telling them how Jenny Simons flat out refused to kiss Cartman after what he did to her in the fourth grade, not that they blamed her. He threatened to tell Annie’s mom that she was being mean to him and that kind of broke the game up. But someone was setting up the wii if they wanted to come back downstairs and join them maybe? He looked like he wanted them to and Tweek nudged at Craig’s shoulder. They would be plenty of moments for them and it didn’t have to be tonight. They could spend the rest of the party playing Mario Party on the wii and laughing and eating too much sugar. They were only twelve, their moment was coming. 

The summer before they started middle school, Tweek came over to have a camp out in the backyard. Craig’s dad set up a tent for them and brought out Craig’s pride and joy, the fancy new telescope he got for his last birthday. There was supposed to be a supermoon tonight and he wanted to see it. He had talked about it all week and even though Tweek had grown very tired of hearing the words supermoon or telescope, he understood why Craig was so excited. Just as Craig had started meditating with him, they were trying to understand each other. 

“I can’t wait to see it, with the telescope, it will be like we’re right there besides it.” Craig pointed it to the sky and Tweek just took a sip of the coffee he brought a thermos of. It was one of the few warm nights in South Park, they were in t shirts and shorts and Craig’s limbs had gotten even ganglier. Tweek was catching up to him height wise though, he was only an inch or two shorter and it made him smile at the thought of someday maybe he would even surpass Craig. He was thinking of growing his wild blond hair out and had taken to wearing it in an alice headband. Their interests were starting take shape. Craig liked animals, science, studio ghibli movies and pop punk music. Playing the viola, he had played it since the fourth grade and had gotten very good at it. He would play it for Tweek sometimes and it was sadder sounding than the violin. Tweek still loved music and he still played the piano, but also added the drums. No one told him how great they were for getting out his frustrations and his extra energy. He started to take ritalin and he was more focused and sharper than he was. He liked to read and build things and his mind had a knack for putting things together. He liked the Cure and that sort of sad baroque sounding rock music. He liked to bake, it was a science and he had gotten Craig into helping him measure things and play with recipes and they had fun together in the kitchen. They made cookies and cupcakes and they would beam with pride with Ruby would tell them she enjoyed their efforts. Tweek signed up for a drama class and he hoped he would be good at that too. He wanted to be good at things, he was tired of being an afterthought or a spaz. He wanted things to change in middle school, but not too much. He wanted Craig to still want to hold his hand and lean against him and eat their lunches together. 

It was the perfect metaphor. He wanted to grow up and be bigger and better and cooler and stronger. But he was so afraid of change and he would lose things or leave them behind. Or they would leave him behind. He had a tribe now. A group of friends who actively wanted to be around him. Even when Craig was off doing his own thing, he could still text Token or Clyde or Jimmy and see if they wanted to see a movie or play a video game. But Token and Craig signed up for all the same advanced placement classes. Clyde wanted to try out for the football team and Jimmy hoped there was a school newspaper. They would be with different kids, North Park kids. It wasn’t just their tiny school anymore. It was all these kids coming together. Sometimes he wondered if Craig would meet another boy. One that was smarter and liked science and wanted to explore the universe with him. Or one that was cooler, liked punk music and had a bad attitude that kryptonite to kids when you're young like this. Yearning to get out from under your parents thumb and be your own person. Someone they didn't approve of. His parents loved Craig and vice versa. His mom would make him sugary coffee drinks that were mostly whipped cream and marshmallow flavoured syrup and ask him about school. Craig’s parents invited him over for dinner and would help him with his homework. They would let him sleep over and they still slept in the same bed like kids, clutching each other’s hands under the star printed sheets. Though, sometimes they would ask them to keep the door open, unaware that they hadn’t even really kissed yet. It hummed under his skin though, he wanted to press his lips to Craig’s and see what it felt like when they were alone, without an audience.

People still treated them like this was the town’s favourite reality tv show, Gay Kids. They would ask him personal questions when he was at the coffee shop and once when they were seeing the newest disney movie, he could feel parents’ eyes on them. He was helping Craig pick out a new lunch box last year and some man asked them if they had kissed yet and looked expectantly like they were supposed to answer him. Craig got upset and flipped him off and Tweek spent the rest of the day complaining about the nerve of this man, the utter nerve to ask them that. The questions would grow more invasive, the pictures started to become more explicit. Though, the roles had started to change. Everyone could see Tweek was growing more and more confident, that he was the one that carried the books home and he brought in the stuffed guinea pig. Now he was the one pinning Craig to walls or pushing him on swings and holding his wrists together and Craig still looked upset at these pieces of art and wouldn’t talk to Clyde for three days when he saw him purchasing one at the town art fair. It felt like such a betrayal from his best friend.

But here they were in Craig’s backyard, in his Red Racer tent, setting up a little camp out. They were looking up at the stars with Craig’s telescope and the air smelled like summer. Clover and grass and Craig’s mom’s garden. Craig’s skin was warm against him, their bare arms pressed together as they took turns looking through the telescope at the supermoon. Craig’s dad said he would bring out some marshmallows so they could make smores and yes, they had to let Ruby have one too. He was looking at Craig instead at the sky and Craig caught him looking and smiled that little closed mouth smile he would do. It felt right, this was the moment. 

He leaned in and he could see Craig closing his eyes. He must have gotten the hint, that’s what you did. You leaned in and you closed your eyes. Craig put his hands on Tweek’s shoulders and he put his hands on Craig’s waist, just like in the movies. Their lips just brushed against each other so gently, it was the softest little kiss. No tongue, no urgency. Just this sweet little kiss and it was everything he could have wanted. It was shy and slightly unsure, but he had never been so sure of anything in his life. When they pulled apart, Craig’s cheeks were flushed like he had been playing soccer and Tweek tried not to look proud he did that. He had him look like that.

“That was way better than the one at Annie’s party.” Craig deadpanned to him and Tweek laughed. “That’s what I wanted.” He looked over at him with those huge eyes of his and he couldn’t help but agree. That's all they wanted, their privacy to be young and together. The innocence of a childhood romance that was hand holding and cotton candy and little closed mouth kisses. He knew that they made it over this hurdle and there would be more to come and it was big and scary, but they were together, they were in this thing together and it made him feel bigger and braver. He worried all the time about the stupidest shit, the world at large and the little things in his life. Everything felt like it was too much pressure and he just needed an anchor. He needed someone to tell that the world wasn't going to explode and everything would be alright. That was Craig, he made his brain still for a moment. He made his stomach flutter and his palms sweat. 

They fell asleep in his little Red Racer tent, zipping their sleeping bags together so it was one big sleeping bag. Craig’s pajamas matched, they had tops and bottoms and it was cute. He looked like a little old man with his blue striped pajama top and shorts. He had no hat on and his feet were bare. He never realized how naked Craig looked without his hat, just soft black hair on his star printed pillow case. Tweek felt himself sort of curl around Craig, his arms around Craig’s thin waist. His stuffed guinea pig on one side of them and the battery powered lantern on the other. They slept so peacefully that night, he had never really slept that peacefully before.

The middle school was bigger than their elementary school and there were multiple lunch periods. Craig wasn’t in a single one of his classes, even his electives, French and orchestra were different from Tweek’s, drama and band. They didn’t drive to school together either, Craig was in a carpool with Kyle Broflovski, who was in all of Craig’s academic classes, Stan Marsh, who kissed Craig in the sixth grade, that’s right, he didn’t forget that. Red Tucker, his cousin who was pretty and popular and would had a thriving social life. He would meet Craig by his locker every morning, thermos of coffee in hand and walk him to his first hour. He had algebra and Tweek had social studies and Kenny was in this class at least. He would sit and watch the clock, school was so boring. It didn’t hold his attention like it should and even with the adderall, he still felt bored and his mind wandered. He thought about Craig and how he looked in his new blue sweater. How it felt to hold his hand between classes and how lucky they were they had lunch together. Clyde wasn’t in any of their lunches and the only person he had was Cartman. 

He saw Craig walking with Kyle after their second period to his locker. He had the locker next to him and they were deep in conversation. Kyle had gotten taller, he cut his red hair short. He looked older than he did last year, he was starting to resemble a teenager than a kid. Craig and him still had slight baby faces, he wanted to blame the coffee for this. He looked engaged though, like whatever Kyle was telling him was important, he would nod his head along with him and he saw him write something down in Kyle’s notebook. He wasn’t trying to be difficult or jealous, but it hurt for some reason. He certainly couldn’t burst over there like a maniac. He didn’t understand why he felt this wave of jealousy, why lately he felt a wave of jealousy every time Craig showed interest in anything else. He was a kid and he was trying to hold on to what he had, while trying to give Craig space to be his own person. 

He felt them growing apart, Craig spent most of his time studying and doing homework. He joined the French club and the science club. He spent his time working with the drama club, playing the drums or working in his parents’ shop. Craig was busy, he was busy and Craig just seemed distant. They were working to outgrow the childish things that defined their elementary school relationship. It wasn’t a big surprise when he saw Craig looking nervous at the coffee shop one day. 

“Hey baby.” Tweek sat down across from him and he looked into those big sad eyes and he knew. Something wasn’t right and he knew it was going to hurt. But he had to let Craig be his own person for a while. That’s what he wanted, he wanted a chance to be his own person outside of them. 

“I think we should talk. I really do like you Tweek, but I think I want to see who I am outside of us. You’re still one of my best friends.” He put one of his soft tan hands in Tweek’s and he squeezed it. “You’re my husband after all.” He was sniffling a little bit, but tried to laugh. Even when you’re doing the dumping, it still hurt. Everything about this hurt, but they were kids and they had to see what else was out there. Meet new people and have new experiences and see if this was even real. Did they trick themselves into a relationship because that’s what everyone wanted for them? Or did they really like each other?

“We’re still friends.” Tweek assured him. It hurt, he had never experienced hurt like this. He thought about not holding Craig’s hand and Craig not kissing him on the cheek before class. He thought about not seeing the new Marvel movie with him. They were going to be friends, they had history. But goddammit if this didn’t hurt. If he didn’t feel like he was dying and the breath was knocked out of him. 

“I should go, I have a lot of math homework tonight.” Craig pulled his Fjallraven backpack on and grabbed his viola. He came there right after science club. “I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” He gave Tweek a sad little smile before leaving. He tried to do the rest of his of his shift and he tried to focus on his science homework, watch some tv, go to bed. This was his normal routine, nothing had to change. But everything had changed and he wondered what tomorrow would look like. He laid awake that night and nothing really felt right and when he walked into the school, everything looked normal. His locker was the same and his classes looked the same. He still ate at the same lunch table and Craig still gave him his little closed mouth smile when he sat down next to him. They still talked about what happened on the 100, they both still watched it. Nothing had changed, he still felt like Tweek and Craig still felt like Craig. They still walked to their fifth hours together and maybe things would be ok. 

They learned how to be together as friends. As people who could see each other for who they were. Talking about the pressure they felt as the town’s PC lightening rod and how Tweek felt like his parents never really cared, they just liked how it made the coffee shop look. Craig liked how supportive his parents were and he felt like they really cared about him. The Tuckers were wonderful parents, they went to all Craig’s science fairs and orchestra concerts and his mom baked him cookies. They loved him and set up camps out in the backyard and they learned how to support him. They wanted to get to know him. Now he was afraid that since he wasn’t dating Tweek, they wouldn’t care anymore. He was still their gay son, but no one was going to care about him.

“They love you, they won’t stop because we’re not dating anymore.” Tweek reassured him. Craig always looked awkward, the way he held himself. Sort of folded over with his arms around his middle. Tweek wanted to hug him like they used to, he wanted to kiss him and hold his hand, just like they used to. He missed him and he knew it wasn’t because of the town. He liked Craig, he missed the way things used to be. 

“Do you want to come over and watch Over the Garden Wall this weekend? They’re showing the whole thing Saturday afternoon?” Craig was holding his french book in his arms and he looked at Tweek with those eyes and even at twelve, he knew he was powerless to say no. That they still needed that space to be apart and he knew if he went over there, he would always miss him and always wish things were the way they were. That being friends would be hard and they would struggle at it. But he wanted to say yes. He always said yes to whatever Craig wanted for the most part. 

“Will your dad let us order pizza?” Tweek asked trying to suppress a shudder. He had gotten a lot better at that. He wasn’t outwardly shaking anymore. But something about this still made him nervous. The dust had settled a bit on their breakup, it had been over a month. They were friends, good friends. But he missed him. This was a fun experiment, they had been on their own for a few weeks, now he was ready to put everything back. Craig didn’t seem to be sharing that sentiment. 

“Yeah, of course he will.” Craig smiled at him, that little closed mouth one he did where he quirked the edges of his lips up. “Just come over in the afternoon, I think it starts around three. I’ll text you.” He shut his locker and gave Tweek a little wave before disappearing into his French class. They used to watch cartoons together all the time. Adventure Time or Steven Universe. Sailor Moon and Red Racer. They had laid together on Craig’s bed and ate pizza and nothing had to change. He was willing things not to change. He just wanted Craig in his life.

Craig was always a person who didn’t say how they felt. He would say what was on his mind, but when it came to feelings, he played it safe. He was a person with secrets and he could be moody. Craig was laying next to him on his star print duvet, with his stuffed guinea pig still laying between them. They had watched the first few episodes of over the garden wall and the doorbell rang for the pizza.

“I’ll be right back, I’ll grab us some sodas too.” He told Tweek going down the stairs. Tweek went to get up to visit with Stripe when Craig’s phone pinged. It kept pinging and he wasn’t a noisy person. But it just kept pinging, someone was blowing him up. He knew Craig’s passcode, he used the same numbers for everything, the year Galileo was born, 1564. He wasn’t invading his privacy, he was just trying to make the noise stop, that’s what he told himself.

Eventually someone else would show interest in Craig, he knew this. Jeff Hammond was a year older than them, in the eighth grade. He had a mop of badly bleached hair, played in a terrible pop punk band and was in the music program with him, also playing the drums. He had a terrible attitude and was always in trouble for something. He was kryptonite for a kid like Craig. He texted him nonstop, asking if he wanted to come watch his band practise tomorrow, asking what he was doing tonight. He saw a notification for a like on his instagram too. Craig didn’t have an instagram when they were dating. He was still twelve, that was against the rules anyways, you had to be thirteen to even sign up.

But there was the icon, shining like forbidden fruit. Just a quick peek. Craig wasn’t the only one breaking the rules. He had Clyde, Stan, Kenny, Lola all friended. Plus Jeff and all his friends and some bands Tweek just passed by. Pictures of Stripe, Lola and him together with their violas, that was at an orchestra competition a few weeks ago. Jeff’s shitty band practising. Craig on Jeff’s lap at an eighth grade party, sometimes there were beer at those. Tweek heard light footsteps coming up the stairs and he hurriedly pressed the home button and tossed Craig’s phone away from him. 

It hurt. It hurt worse than when they broke up. Craig was keeping things from him and they promised to stay friends. They said they would share things and nothing would change. Everything had changed. He hated Craig in that moment, he wanted to throw that pizza and that pop back into his face. He watched him come into the room like nothing had happened, that they were here to watch some stupid cartoon miniseries and eat pizza and act like his heart wasn’t completely broken. 

“I got our favourite, pineapple and banana peppers, no one else seems to like it.” He put the box on his desk and handed him a paper plate. He also handed him a can of rootbeer and sat down on the bed next to him. “Are you ready to watch the back half of this?” He settled in next to Tweek. He didn’t know what to say or if he should leave or confront him. But then he had to admit what he did. Craig was so private and this was breaking his trust. He was torn on what to do next. He just took the can and the plate and two piece of greasy pizza. He sat next to Craig and ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach that Craig was moving on and he was stuck in time. 

“Yeah, unpause it.” He tried to keep his voice steady and even. He tried to ignore Craig’s presence next to him, the warmth of his skin. His hair didn’t smell like watermelon anymore and he wasn’t wearing Red Racer tee shirts. He looked different in that moment, like everything about him was replaced by someone else. He was like a clone of Craig Tucker, this devious secret keeping _harlot_ that was breaking his heart while enjoying a whimsical animated miniseries. 

“Do you want to spend the night?” Craig asked him when it was over. Like a sleepover would just patch everything up. Not that Craig knew he was angry or hurt really. He cleaning up the pizza and the plates. It was only 8 pm on a Saturday and they could have been doing anything really. Or Craig could be texting half the eighth grade and he probably kissed Jeff FUCKING Hammond with tongue and he kept that from him too. 

“No, I'm going to get going, I have to work tomorrow.” Tweek murmured and he sort of awkwardly picked up his jacket and Craig walked him downstairs to the door. ‘What are you going to do tonight?” He tried act casual. But he wanted to know if Craig would lie to him. 

“Im probably just going to read for a while, I want to get ahead in English. Maybe listen to music or draw.” He shrugged. He was wearing a big Neck Deep hoodie and Tweek felt his paranoia taking over. It was probably Jeff’s hoodie, they probably snuggled up together and Craig was cold and he gave it to him. They were only twelve, life shouldn’t be this dramatic. But it was, this was some Faking It level fuckery. No one should have to deal with this sort of bullshit. He rode his bike home with his head swimming. He didn’t even remember tossing his bike in the garage and slamming into the house. He ignored his parents on the way up to his room and slammed the door. He threw himself down on his bed and just stared at the ceiling. Life wasn’t fair, he had always known that living in South Park. Where your school teacher became the president and scared you half to death. Aliens kidnapped people, the hospital killed more people than saved them. That your parents didn't care about you and they only acknowledged you when it was beneficial for them. That you like someone and they like you and they needed time to themselves. That even your friends kept things from you, Clyde and Stan knew, but they said nothing. Didn't even care enough to give him a head’s up.

On Monday he saw Clyde by his locker, panicking because he didn’t finish any of his weekend assignments, choosing instead to play video games and goof around with Jimmy. He thought about marching up to him and demanding to know why he didn’t tell him that Craig was moving on. Or why did he have some secret social media he wasn’t a part of. But he knew he couldn’t. It wasn’t his place to demand things of Clyde, he was Craig’s best friend and his loyalty clearly sided with him. He just said hello and kept walking. Because that’s what you do when a boy breaks your heart, you keep moving. You hope that someday, they find a place in their life for you. Though, fuck Clyde, he was never copying his math homework ever again.

Craig didn’t sit with them at lunch that day, he sat with Jeff and his eighth grade friends. He watched him eat quietly as they all talked. Craig really wasn’t much of a talker anyways. He watched them walk out of the lunch room together, there was no confirmation they were a couple. No one was holding hands or his arm wasn’t around Craig’s thin waist. He just got this feeling, the way Jeff looked at him, how Craig waited for him in the morning. He was stalking Craig’s instagram, he had never felt lower. This huge invasion of his privacy. He just, he just had to know. He had to know who his competition was.

It was a comment. That’s what did it. A comment left by Jeff on a picture of Craig with Stripe. “U r so cute babe.” It was all he needed to see. The world was ending and Craig was out there dating eighth graders, moving on with his life. He was going to be thirteen soon, at the end of January. He never had a full on party, that was never Craig’s style. He always had a little sleepover, just Clyde, Token, Jimmy and him. They would order pizza and eat cake and ice cream. Play video games, watch movies. It was low key, just like Craig. He wondered if Craig would even bother to invite him. Did Craig even care about him at all anymore? He was having a crisis, all he could think about was that comment from Jeff, all he could think about was how Craig couldn’t even tell him he was going out with another boy. 

“My birthday is this weekend, are you guys coming over for the usual thing?” He asked them at lunch one day. He was eating a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich and looked over at them all. He debated saying no, go fuck yourself you stupid self centered bratty slut. But he couldn’t. Craig was looking at them with those eyes and all he wanted was for things to go back to normal. 

“Of course, I would never miss your birthday.” He had to say. He knew it would be hard and he wondered if Jeff would be there. What he would give him for his birthday, had they kissed yet? Did he spend the night and sleep in Craig’s bed under his star printed sheets and hold his hand like he used to? He had too many questions and not enough answers and he was afraid those answers would break his heart anyways. He was afraid to poke at what lurked below, what he couldn’t tell him.

They were watching some boring marvel movie and no one was really paying attention to it. He was next to Craig on the couch and Jimmy was on Craig’s other side. Token and Clyde were on the floor in front of them and everyone started to talk about girls and relationships. Clyde was still crushing on Bebe, who didn’t notice him and was dating an eighth grader on the basketball team. Jimmy had finally asked out Annie and was going to a movie with her next weekend. It only took them a year to get together. Token and Nichole were still going strong despite their messy history.

“What’s going on with Jeff and you?” Clyde asked him between mouthfuls of chocolate cake with a buttercream icing. “You guys have been hanging out.” Tweek was trying not to stare at him. But he could read Craig, that was his real super power, he could look beyond that bored facade and read him like a book. 

“Nothing. I'm not ready to date anyone else yet.” Craig was picking at his birthday cake. He ate like a bird and was bird boned. Thin delicate wrists and skinny arms. He had three friendship bracelets on his left wrist, two of them from Tweek. He could wrap his hand around Craig’s ankle easily and they would laugh when he did. “I think he wants to, but I'm not into him like that. He’s cool though, he’s in a band.” He pointed out.

“Bands are fucking cool. Unless it's Token’s lame christian band with Butters and Cartman.” Jimmy tossed a pillow at Token and they all laughed. Tweek felt like he was still being punched in the heart, but less so as he tossed a pillow at Craig, who tossed it back. Jeff wasn’t the threat he thought he was, but there was eventually going to be someone else. Some other boy would come along and he would pursue him and eventually he would let him. He would either have to be honest and tell him he missed him and he knew who he was without Craig, a sad lonely dramatic boy who missed his person. Or to let him go and be with other people and try and be friends. At twelve, this all seemed so life and death, all or nothing. No shades of gray, just be with me or I’ll die alone. He didn’t want that, he didn’t want to be like this. He had to try to be better, more well adjusted. He just needed something, he didn’t know what it was yet.

In the end it didn’t even matter, he watched Jeff talking to Craig at his locker, he was leaning over him, like cool boys did in teen romance movies. He saw Craig’s mouth moving and he shook his head now. Jeff looked angry and stomped away and Craig looked unreadable. He might have been sad. Or relieved. Maybe even disappointed. Maybe he hoped that if they hung out enough, Jeff would just want to be friends and think he was cool enough to hang out with. That wasn’t the case as Craig walked towards algebra alone. He saw Tweek and gave him a little closed mouth smile and wave. He thought this would be great and he would be glad to be rid of Jeff, but he felt bad too. Craig lost a friend and he didn’t have him back. It was a situation no one won. 

They were all taking tests in the eighth grade to see what their high school path was. The accelerated path or the average path. The remedial path, that’s where he was probably going to end up. They took practise tests and calculated grades and test scores. Craig was barely around, he was constantly working and taking after school workshops and studying for these tests that Tweek couldn’t bring himself to care about. He didn’t care what path he ended up on. He would see him at lunch with his nose in that testing booklet and Kyle was making study plans with him. They cared more than most and Tweek didn’t get it. He didn’t get why anyone cared about this that much. It was just school.

Craig came into the coffee house one day when Tweek was working, all sleepy brown eyes and slumping shoulders. He had a stack of books with him and alternated between doing his homework for his present classes and working in the booklets for the tests they were going to be taking. He laid his head on his accelerated math book and Tweek brought him his old favourite, the fluffy cloud, half the coffee, up the marshmallow syrup. He put his hand on Craig’s bony back and gently woke up him.

“You need a break babe.” He told him softly, old habits died so hard. Craig just nodded and took the frozen drink. “You’ll do fine on your test, you always worry like this.” He sat down next to him in the booth and Craig laid his head on his shoulder. 

“I just needed a change of scenery to study in.” Craig took a sip through the straw of his marshmallow coffee and nestled into Tweek’s side. “But I could just use a little break.” He closed his eyes for a moment and he was warm against Tweek. His hair didn’t smell like watermelon anymore, but something sort of herby and sweet. His sweater smelled like apple fabric softener and his hat was falling off his head. Tweek adjusted it and pushed some black hair behind his little pointed elf ears. He played with his hair for a moment and he swore Craig started purring like a kitten. He missed this and he missed how things used to be. It was a year later, nothing had changed for him. He liked Craig more than ever and it hurt and the pain was still raw, like a bruise he kept pressing on. He was still doing the plays and he still played the drums. He still drank too much coffee and listened to Joy Division and the Cure and he liked to wear green. Nothing was different, he felt like Tweek. Craig didn’t make him Tweek and he didn’t make him Craig. They were their own two people. He hoped Craig saw that too.

“You always take good care of me.” Craig looked up at him with those sleepy brown eyes of his and he had a little closed mouth smile on his face. “I miss that.” He felt skinny little arms around his torso for a moment and a little squeeze. Craig was hugging him. He gently put his arms around him and pulled him closer. “Can we just sit like this for a moment before I need to start reviewing all the social studies stuff?” His voice was soft and Tweek saw his parents watching them with a fond look on their face. They both wordlessly stuck their middle fingers up at them and laughed softly. Some things never do change and he was grateful for that.

He waited with Craig in the counselor's office as they gave out the results to where you were heading. He felt his nervous energy next to him. His skinny leg kept jiggling up and down and it sorta drove him insane, but Craig must have felt like this with him, with all his shaking and shrieking. So he was willing to let it go.

“Craig Tucker.” The school guidance counselor for the middle school was a middle aged chubby blond lady. She wore her hair in a flyaway ponytail and she motioned for Craig to come join her. 

“I’ll be right out.” He told Tweek leaving his beat up blue fjallraven backpack with him. Tweek saw he still had his Sailor Moon pin and he smiled as he touched it. Craig still cared about him. He still had the Red Racer patch too. He gave him that for his birthday two years ago. He made him a box of Red Racer stuff. He put Craig’s bag in his lap and left his on the floor. Who would want Tweek Tweak’s backpack of wrappers and balled up old homework and pens that were all chewed up when they could have Craig’s? His neat little pencil case with pens and pencils and highlighters. Cool asian stuff he bought Craig from amazon that should have been girly, but he thought they were mad cool. His labeled binders and all his notes colour coded. He would definitely steal his bag if he were a bag thief. Craig came out of the counselor’s office looking relieved and showed him his print out of the classes he signed up for in high school. He was on the AP path.

“Thanks for being here for me, I appreciate it.” He hugged him tightly and there was this moment. It was still and nothing mattered around them, like they were the only two in the office. He looked into Craig’s eyes and he leaned in and he kissed him. Just a little soft peck to the mouth like they used to. His cheeks lit up and so did Craig’s and he went to say something before Stan Marsh came out of the one of the offices.

“Hey dude, did you sign up for classes?” He asked Craig ignoring him like he didn’t exist. Stan Marsh had this gift of being wherever you didn’t need him to be. He was interrupting their moment outside of the counseling office. He wondered if this meant they were going to get back together or if it was just a kiss. He watched as Stan gently grabbed Craig by the bony elbow towards his locker, talking to him about the classes they would take in high school. Craig wasn’t in Stan’s program of average classes for average sorts. He was too smart for that. He looked over his shoulder at Tweek and gave him an apologetic look. They would talk later or maybe kiss or maybe Tweek would get his heart broken again. The future was always uncertain, but Tweek was ready for anything.

They had gotten back together on a warm summer night. They were camping at Stark’s Pond with their friends, both groups merged. Craig was sitting at his telescope and was looking at the stars. He sat down next to him and he felt it. It felt like something important was going to happen. He leaned in and kissed him again and then again. Then they talked about everything and nothing over smores. Cartman burnt his, so he took Kyle’s, which led to an argument and Stan and Kenny jumping in. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care about any of that. He just cared that Craig leaned into his side and he put his arm around him. That night they kissed again before bed, Tweek put his arms around his waist and pulled him close. They were going to start high school together, that was all mattered right now. It soothed down some of the nervousness.

“This is the high school.” Craig’s nasal tone sounded a little overwhelmed. They were standing in the foyer of the busy Parks County High school. He had just been dropped off by his carpool, Sharon Marsh’s turn to drive. Tweek was waiting for him by the door with a take out cup of frozen fluffy cloud, white chocolate and marshmallow just like he liked. He leaned in and kissed his cheek gently. It felt good to have his baby at his side again. Craig was an inch shorter than he was now. He still played the viola and he had a brand new blue fjallraven backpack on his back with all his old pins. They walked holding hands down the hall like the little fourteen year olds they were. 

“I'll see you at lunch.” Craig had both hands in Tweek’s and he squeezed them gently. Tweek pulled him into his arms and kissed him gently on the mouth. He had no classes with Craig, both on different academic paths. He didn’t share any extracurriculars with Craig, he knew there was no way he was signing up for science club or french club. But he wasn’t going to overreact like last time, he wasn’t going to get jealous or take him for granted. It was going to be different this time. He could feel it.

Craig was redoing his bedroom, trying to make it more mature since they were in high school. His parents bought him a new bed, a full rather than a twin that they both smushed into when they were kids. A new duvet with a dark blue celestial print. Band posters on the walls, fairy lights around the headboard. The glow in the dark stars were gone, he remembered Craig telling him how Clyde and him researched all the constellations before putting them up. He laid next to Craig on the new bed and looked up at the ceiling, he missed them. 

“Do you like my new room?” Craig asked in his nasal tone. He didn’t tell him that he would miss smushing next to him in that tiny bed or pretending they were in space while looking at the constellations on his ceiling. That it was all for babies and they were trying to be mature like the high schoolers they were. He looked over at Craig, his eyes were half closed as they listened to Neutral Milk Hotel on Craig’s record player. The room was quiet except for the music playing softly on the record player and it was almost dark and Craig’s parents weren’t going to be home until late. They had gotten weird about them being in Craig’s room since they got back together over the summer, asking them to keep the door open if they were in there without them being home. They hadn’t even kissed with tongue yet. 

Not that Tweek didn’t think about it. He thought about kissing Craig, touching his soft tan skin, seeing his cheeks heat up. He thought about the way he would feel underneath him and the way it felt when he released all over his hand pretending it was Craig’s mouth or hand or ass. That his hormones raced and he spent half his time concealing an awkward boner from Craig as they cuddled on the couch watching Sailor Moon or Steven Universe. That he knew things had changed, that there was this door that was locked and he was afraid to go through it, but his body wanted to. He wanted to touched Craig and kiss him until his mouth hurt and he felt his erection starting to strain against his pants and he was embarrassed and hoped Craig didn’t notice.

“When are your parents getting home?” He asked Craig trying to suppress a shudder. He wasn’t shaking like he used to and he felt cooler and more confident and bigger and stronger. Being with Craig made everything feel calmer and better. He looked over at him again and his long dark lashes made shadows on his cheeks and his plush pink lips were slightly parted. He leaned in and kissed him. It was a soft little peck at first, just the kisses they normally gave each other. Then it was a little more intense and he found Craig parting his lips for him, pushing his tongue gently in his mouth. They were kissing like they were dying and it was all new and exciting and he had an erection from actual human contact. They were both panting softly and he found himself rolling on top of Craig’s skinny little frame. He was pressing himself against him, his hips flushing to his. 

He heard it. This little soft moan that sounded like a little kitten yawn. But it was there, it was a moan. He put his hands under Craig’s nasa tee shirt and touched his skin. It was innocent exploring hands and there were still lines he was so afraid to cross. He didn’t want to go too fast and Craig would resent him. Or they would regret what happened and everything would change for the worst. It was this delicate balance of wanting more and being afraid to go forward. There were definitely kids having sex in their grade and they were in high school now, this wasn’t children playing at something. He was scared and he was yearning and he wanted more and he was afraid of more. He liked kissing Craig, he liked how soft his lips were under his and the way he smelled like herby sweet shampoo and apple fabric softener and shea butter soap that made his skin so soft and pretty. He wanted him, but he had never asked Craig how he felt about all this. If he was scared, he always seemed scared of human physical contact and those pictures people would draw didn’t help. His mind raced but he felt little waves of pleasure from dry humping Craig on his new duvet.

But he wanted him so badly. So badly in his stupid hormonal lust addled fourteen year old brain. That he wasn’t really thinking straight and his hands were on Craig’s hips and he was starting to unzip his skinny jeans when he heard the door open. 

“Are you asleep sweetie?” Craig’s dad was tall and intimidating. His voice was deep and he had quit his office job three years ago to open an auto body shop in town. He liked him, he felt like he did. But in this moment, on Craig’s little full size bed in his teenage bedroom, he knew they had fucked up hard. 

“Dad!” Craig all but pushed him off and they were caught literally red handed. Craig’s hair was sticking up everywhere and his jeans were unbuttoned. Both of their mouths were red and Craig looked like he wanted to die. They were never going to be allowed to be in this room alone again. 

“Tweek, I think it's time for you to go home, go call your parents to pick you up, it’s dark out.” Thomas Tucker didn’t look mad, he just looked concerned. He walked him downstairs and made sure Tweek called his parents to tell them he needed them to come get him. 

“Mr. Tucker.” He started to shake like he used to when he was a kid. He felt guilty, like he broke his own parents’ trust. “Im sorry.” He looked down at his combat boots.

“You get one, you’re teenagers and you’re getting older. I understand that. But you’re still kids and I think you’re just a little too young for sex.” He told him quietly. He didn’t raise his voice, he didn’t try and intimidate him. He just wanted him to understand that he was concerned for his son. He had Craig to think about, his needs and his concerns. He didn’t want to put him in a bad situation. “Laura and I will have a talk with Craig later. Just get home safe.” He told him. Tweek had never been happier to see his parents and he didn’t tell him what happened, he knew nothing good would come of it. They would probably use it as some marketing ploy, he hated them. 

Craig looked slightly embarrassed when he saw him at school the next morning and when they hugged, his kept his face buried in his chest so he didn’t have to look at him. Their first makeout session turned into the most embarrassing night of their lives. Honestly, it felt very on brand for them, everything about them had this undertone of embarrassment. That’s how this all started, an undertone of embarrassment and now here they were, five years later.

“I'm sorry about my dad, I got the talk from my parents when you left and I wanted to jump off my roof.” His voice was muffled from Tweek’s shirt. He brought his hand up for a moment and stroked his hair soothing. Put him at ease, everything human basically made Craig uncomfortable. Not that he blamed him, they were at that age where everything was so dramatic and embarrassing and they always wanted to die. Tweek had always been a dramatic person, but Craig was starting to catch up to him and he appreciated that for some reason. They were truly in this together.

“Its ok baby, your dad was cool about it. I mean, he really cares about us.” He tugged at his backpack straps like he used to tug at his hair. He was trying not to do that, he was trying not to shudder. He was trying to channel all this nervous energy into productive means. But old habits die hard. He wasn’t perfect and he wasn’t trying to be perfect. He just wanted to be a better person. Nothing was easy, everything took work and it was hard and jesus he needed a break. Sometimes he wished he was someone else. Someone calm and confident and better at dealing with this huge world. Craig’s dad was cool and he wished his dad could be like this. He wished someone cared enough about him to make sure Craig got home safe and to call his parents. He wished for so many things it made his heart ache.

But he had Craig, he walked him to class and kissed him outside French 3. He sat next to Clyde and thought about Craig, about what they did last night and what would have happened if his dad hadn’t walked in. He thought about all things they would do and how it would feel to finally really have him. How much time they had for that, this wasn’t a race. It was a journey of love and trust and want. He loved him, he wanted him and he trusted him. 

By their junior Craig was thinking about college. It was all he thought about most of the time, he worried and he studied and he was building this impressive resume. National Honor Society, he was one of the only sophomores recruited last year and he worked so hard to maintain a 5.0 grade point average. He was first chair viola in the orchestra and practised two hours a night. French club, president of the science club. He was France in the model UN and he volunteered at the animal shelter. Took a full course load of ap classes. He was overworked and slept too little and tried to make time for Tweek. He tried so hard to be present during their time together. He knew sometimes he short changed Tweek, turned “study dates” into study and homework sessions. He hoped Tweek didn’t get bored with him.

“Babe, take a break.” Tweek was rubbing his slight shoulders with strong piano player hands. Tweek was in the marching band, he knew it was dorky, but he loved it. He played the drums in the jazz band with Stan Marsh. He was in the school plays and still worked at his parents’ place after school. He wore his hair in a little stubby ponytail and he smelled like coffee and cologne and he kissed the top of Craig’s head. They were growing into adults, people they were meant to be. Craig was a hard worker and planned things and had a clear view of what he wanted his future to be. Tweek was creative and interesting and he took care of him. He made sure he got some sleep and didn’t have a daily nervous breakdown over homework and studying. College dreams that Tweek knew in his heart, he wasn’t going to be a part of. That he wasn’t going to follow Craig to Stanford or MIT or the University of Michigan. They had two years together and that was ok. It broke his heart, but he knew the best thing he could do was support Craig’s dreams.

“I still have my European history AP test to start prepping for. I haven’t even opened the study guide yet” He slumped down in the desk chair dejected. “I just.” He started taking his bottom lips in between his braces covered teeth. “I don't want to get behind.” His voice was barely audible. It broke Tweek’s heart that Craig worried this much at sixteen. He was young and this was the last time in their lives they would be kids. They should be driving around all night and drinking slurpees and listening to pop punk on top volume. He wanted to protect him from the voices that told him that he wasn’t smart enough, he wasn’t driven enough. Work harder, study more, never take a break. You don't deserve a break, just keep moving. It wasn’t even like he was the only one either. Wendy Testaburger and Kyle and Heidi all looked the same. Working too hard, sleeping too little and having less fun than they should have been at sixteen.

“Just come here for a minute ok?” Tweek led him to the bed and laid him down. “Just close your eyes for like, ten minutes and then you can get back.” He felt little skinny arms around his torso. Craig had dark rings under his giant eyes and he looked up at Tweek with those huge dark fuck me eyes. Doed and sweet looking with long lashes. He had just gotten his braces on and they added to this sweet little picture of a baby faced, rounded cheeks and freckles. For being such a hard ass brat, he looked so soft and it killed Tweek. Craig leaned up and kissed him so sweetly and so gently. It felt like coming home and he just wanted to make his brain go still. Just do that for him, let him be out of his head for a bit and he loved him so fucking much. He would have done anything for him. He would have done anything to make him feel like a person again.

Craig’s hands were on his shoulders and his were under his tee shirt, going over all that warm, soft tanned skin. He pulled Tweek on top of him and opened his legs for him. They had spent the last two years dry humping for friction and released. Groping each other and Craig kneeling in front of him, taking him in his mouth. His hands in that soft dark hair, gently tugging at it and hearing Craig moan around him. Craig liked being underneath him, he always wanted to be underneath him and that was fine with him. He liked being on top of that skinny little frame, that was his favourite place to be. They had spent the last two years dancing around this thing, this thing they were afraid to touch, but god how did he want to. How he wanted to lose his virginity to the person he loved most and it had gotten hard and harder to stop before they went too far. 

They were kissing like it was their last day on earth, that if both of them were flung from this earthly plane, they would be ok in this moment. This was the ideal way to spent their last moments on earth in each other’s arms. He pulled Craig’s Joyce Manor shirt off and kissed down his jawline to the side of his throat. He had given him plenty of hickeys in the years they had been together, but he just sunk his teeth into him, he was leaving purple pretty marks like a pretty pearl necklace. Everyone would know who Craig belonged to. He kissed down to his collarbone and his chest, leaving little marks in his wake. He took a perfect little brown nipple in his mouth, his tongue swirling around it.

“Tweek don't stop.” Craig sighed softly, his eyes were closed and his head pressed back into the pillow, his throat exposed. Tweek was pulling his skinny jeans, his hands on his sharp hip bones. Craig was all awkward limbs and sharp little angles. He was soft tanned skin that would bruise so easily, his mark everywhere. Craig laid there naked, just spread out in front of him and it was so intimate. Every bit of him exposed and every part of him was beautiful. He looked up at Tweek with such affection and trust in those big doe eyes, it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. How much Craig loved him, how much he trusted him. He much he wanted him. His pretty features were clouded with lust and he reached for Tweek, he couldn’t bear to be apart from him. Craig gently pushed his flannel shirt off his broad shoulders and pulled his Free Palestine shirt off. He put his hands on Tweek’s chest, gently going over his pecs. He rolled his naked hips up against Tweek’s, begging for more.

“Im ready please Tweek.” He moaned softly. Craig was naked and he was spread out in front of him. He wanted to put his hands and his mouth on every inch of that soft tan skin and he was his. This was their moment and even though it wasn’t perfect, the start wasn’t at least. Craig was overworked and overwhelmed and so exhausted and he wanted to make him happy. He would do anything to make him happy, everything he worked for was this precious bond between them. He felt slim nimble fingers stroking his dick through his pants, pressed at the crown. He felt him tug at his zipper and his dick was free. It was one of those crystalizing moments where everything he wanted was here out in front of him. That everything felt so fragile, so precious. He was so afraid he would break it, that he would do something and it would be gone.

He felt soft little hands pass him the little tube of lubricant that they were saving for some special occasion. A birthday or holiday or some other occasion you label as better than a normal day. It was a special occasion because it was the moment Tweek realized that he would die for this boy. This beautiful messy endearingly human boy. He would open him up with his fingers and kiss his face and shoulder and jawline to keep him calm. To sooth down his nerves as he pushed in so gently. He was rubbing his hip soothingly, gently over his sharp hipbone.

“Are you ok?” He asked him softly as he thrusted forward experimentally, hearing him make a little soft moan. Craig reached for him, his hands on his shoulders for leverage. His thrusts were messy with very little rhythm. Craig tried to match him, but they were both a little off. It felt so good, Tweek honestly didn’t care. He was here in this moment with his baby, it didn’t matter if it wasn’t porn perfect. That was a thing of fantasy, this was real and it was better than anything he had ever felt in his life.

“I feel so close to you.” Craig’s forehead was rested on his and he was making these soft little moans, he would remember them forever. They were burned into his brain until the end of time. Tweek reached down to stroke so he could cum first, that was the plan at least. Everything was a flash of white and he felt like his orgasm hit him like a train. Craig was still rutting against him and whimpering. He had to use the same frantic rhythm he did when he was just trying to get off fast. He felt something warm and wet against his stomach and hand and he just collapsed on Craig. He face was buried in the junction between Craig’s bruised throat and shoulder. He was breathing heavy and pressing soft kisses to his skin. It was everything, it was everything he could have wanted. 

“I'm so relaxed.” He heard Craig murmur closing his giant doe eyes. He curled up into Tweek’s side and nuzzled at him with his nose. “My Tweek.” He looked at peace, that’s what this started out as. A way to get his baby to unwind and now it was this thing that brought them even closer together. Craig’s AP European history book laid forgotten on his desk as he drifted into peaceful slumber. There was plenty of time for school work and he knew Craig would ace all these tests anyways. He knew Craig was smarter than he gave himself credit for and there was still that little voice that pointed out the dumb little baby who couldn’t get the fractions right in the fourth grade. But he wasn’t that boy anymore and he worked harder than anyone else he knew. He deserved some time to himself and Tweek hoped he could be there for that. He wanted to be that person that he could curl into and hold him in his arms. Make Craig feel at peace like he did for him all those years ago. He liked taking care of him, he liked being needed. He wasn’t Tweek Tweak the annoying spaz anymore. He worked hard to be a person he could be proud of. He wanted Craig to be proud of him too. 

“Stay the night.” Craig opened his eyes and looked at him through his lashes. “I like when you stay the night.” He leaned over and kissed the top of Craig’s head and curled around him. He held onto his waist and it was the best he had ever slept in a while.

Senior year was all college applications and making plans for the future. Craig was accepted to every college he was applied to except for MIT, which he was waitlisted for. He laid his head on Tweek’s chest and closed his eyes for a moment. For the first time in four years, he wasn't worried about getting into college or building a resume. Or why should any of these universities invest their time into him. Why should they think he was special. All he had to do is find a way to pay for the school of his choice and pass his final exams.

“My pretty, pretty baby.” Tweek was stroking over his dark hair. “My genius little kitten.” He heard Craig chuckle softly. “I knew you could do it, you deserve everything.” He felt Craig look up at him and smile his little closed mouth smile with the just the corners of his lips quirked up. This was it, they were going in two separate directions next year. Craig would be at Stanford or Oberlin or University of Michigan or Vassar. Tweek was staying here, going to community college and working for his parents. He didn’t care about school and he was actually only doing this to make his parents happy. He knew where his future lied, he would take over the family business. He would do it better too, he had so many ideas. Better coffee, better pastries, better hours. Make this place somewhere Craig wanted to come home to.

“No more talk of college, let’s just lay here for a while.” Craig listened to Tweek’s heart beating. It was gentle and lulling, he felt like he could just be a person for a while. For the first time in four years, he could just go to his classes and enjoy what he was learning. Play his viola for fun, eat the butter cookies in French club and watch a movie. Just be. Maybe even spend his weekend with Tweek and his friends doing nothing of value. He couldn’t wait, he felt like he had been holding his breath for four year, he could finally breathe again.

“Are you doing a promposal for Craig dude?” Clyde asked Tweek in their blow off fifth hour art class. “I might do one for Bebe, I feel like she’s the sort that wants that.” He had been making “collages” all year. Just cutting out pictures of magazines and pasting them to poster board. Tweek had actually been working on a clay pot for his mom for her birthday. Cheaper than buying her something and moms ate that shit up when you make their gifts yourself.

“No dude, I'm just going to ask him the regular way.” Craig didn’t need big gestures and he never trusted big gestures. Everything was low key with them. That’s the kind of people they were, they just needed each other’s attention. “I’ll just ask him afterschool.” Give them both time to get a suit or whatever. He didn’t even know if Craig wanted to go to prom, neither of them were great socializers, the last dance they went to was homecoming their sophomore year when Bebe was on the court and Clyde was her date. They liked to spend their Saturday nights watching movies and fucking on and off all night in Craig’s little full size bed. He would so much rather be doing that than stuffing himself in a suit, drinking shitty punch and stale cookies and making small talk with the same assholes he saw everyday. He loved Clyde, Token and Jimmy, but he was going to make the same small talk with them over lunch tomorrow. Who needs to spend the money to hang out with their friends? What a waste of time and money.

“Babe, do you want to go to prom?” Tweek asked as Craig had his long slim legs in his lap and was working on his calculus homework. “If you want to go, we’ll get the limo and the tuxes and everything. The whole thing.” He was rubbing one of his calves. Craig put his pencil and notebook down and looked over at him. 

“I don't know, that's so much work to just hang out with our friends. Do you want to go?” He was relieved to hear that Craig thought like he did. So much work just to hang out with their friends. But Craig also knew that Clyde probably wanted him to go and this was one of those high school memory sort of things. But they were still everyone’s favourite reality show, he could only imagine how annoying everyone would be about this. What if someone nominated them for something, he would rather drink bleach than deal with that. 

“Not really. I just want to be with you, I don't care where we are.” Tweek’s hands felt so good on his calves, rubbing them up and down, working the knots out. 

“Let's just skip it then and we’ll do something else.” He finished his last two math problems and then tossed everything aside. He had a Tweek to make out with. He shifted himself forward so he was in Tweek’s lap and wrapped his skinny arms around the back of his neck. He pulled himself close to him, so they were flush against each other. He put his forehead on Tweek’s and looked into his green eyes. “I love you, I don't really care what we do.” He told him softly.

Craig and Tweek came over and watched their friends get ready for prom. They took pictures of them, they helped them get ready. When they left, they went back to Craig’s house. They tried watching a movie, but they kept getting distracted by each other. Tweek’s coffee smell and his green eyes. The way his hands felt under Craig’s shirt. The way his weight felt on his frame. The way he rolled his hips down on his, little waves of pleasure washing over his skinny frame. 

“Just fuck me.” He moaned softly. “Please daddy.” It sparked through Tweek’s frame to hear him call him that. It was a joke, it all started as a joke. Craig was kitten and he was daddy, but it had become something else and it heated up his skin and his core and his dick was so hard. Craig made him so hard. They opened the pandora’s box of sex and they couldn’t stop. If they were in the room together it was all needy hands and mouths and he was alone with him and he would press him against the bed and the wall and the door. Any solid surface he could take him on.

Craig rode Tweek so hard that night, he was just bouncing on his dick like it was his last day on earth. They had so little time left and they were soaking in every bit of each other. Every moment they were apart, they could be here, in Craig’s bed. Every moment they were apart, Craig could be on his dick. The thought of being apart next year killed him and he had to have him. This primal urge to have him bubbled under his skin. To claim him and even if he was at Stanford or Oberlin or the fucking moon, he was Tweek’s. He had been Tweek’s since that moment in the fourth grade where he looked into his big doe eyes and asked if he could share his markers. Craig Tucker would never belong to another person. His skin bore his mark, his coffee cologne smell permeated into his soft freckled skin. He would hold his slim wrists down as he took him and those little bird boned wrists and arms felt like heaven underneath him. He was never going to let him go. 

He had never came so hard like he did that night, filling him up, he was messy and he watched himself drip down Craig’s tanned thigh. He took him twice more and he would have probably gone for a fourth if the sheer exhaustion didn’t knock them both out. He would up with Craig laying on his chest. He looked like a bruised banana, marked up and naked and Tweek’s. 

“I'm so glad we skipped prom.” Craig murmured against his chest and they both laughed. He watched Craig sit up stiffly and stretch. The stiffness cradled in his lower back and Tweek kissed the knob at the top if his spine. He turned and looked at Tweek with those sleepy brown eyes and reached for him with his greedy little hands. 

“Let's go take a shower and change the sheets, they’re a biohazard.” He murmured as he stretched his skinny little arms up again. Tweek wrapped his arm around his waist and they showered together. His hands over his back, the softness of his skin and his soap smelled so good and his skin was pretty and flushed. He reached up and put his hands on Tweek’s chest and he kissed the top of Craig’s head. It was sweet and loving and domestic. They changed the sheets and spent the rest of the day eating pizza in bed and watching a Good Place marathon. 

“I've made a decision about next year.” Craig looked up at Tweek. “I'm going to Stanford. California really isn’t that far.” He pointed out. It wasn’t, less than ten hours away. He looked hopeful in a way he normally wouldn’t. Craig wasn’t really someone who was hopeful, he just let things happen as they did.

“I can come see you on the weekends.” He nudged at the side of Craig’s throat with his nose. “We’ll make this work.” He promised him. 

The thing is, he didn’t know what the future held. He knew what he wanted it to hold, how he felt about Craig. He was beautiful and smart and his. They understood each other in a way he never thought anyone could. But for now, they could just lay here together, Craig in his arms. His head on his chest and that hopeful look in his eyes. That was all he could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> My first creek, which I wrote because there is a severe lack of good top Tweek. Enjoy.


End file.
